trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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