The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize