brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
