i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
