i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
