the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
