i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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