called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
