Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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