We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
