Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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