Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
