Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
