My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
