OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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