Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
