when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
then he tried to convert me to islam
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
