Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
