I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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