? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
