I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize