I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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