Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
