i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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