Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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