my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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