great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
