I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
