I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
