Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
