Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
