i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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