guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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