I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
bring money and cleavage
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
