well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
