i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
