...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
