As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
