my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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