saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
