I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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