how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
how does that bad decision feel?
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