Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize