i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about my life...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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