i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
