Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
smell my finger.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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