Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
