apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize