Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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