I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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