whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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