don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
