Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
