Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
