Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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