i just wanna soil my oats bro
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
