i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
