I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What a dumb baby whore.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
