Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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