So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
