dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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