16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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