oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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