she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
