you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
