I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is Oprah even human
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
