as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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