well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize