So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
