Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sext me about skeletons
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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