Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
