3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
