i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
