So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
True college students do jello shots in the library
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
