He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
